Fortress of Solitude

Well blog we meet again. Now i'm in my head. I mean I spend time with some of my friends and that's awesome. All we do is watch movies. I really want to do something. I guess this bitchin' will stop when I'm 21. I'll be able to go to a club and dance. Maybe I'll be able to do alot of things. It's not the drinking. It's the socializing.there's almost no way to meet people when you're not 21. I really want to do something big artistically. I don't know what yet. I have some Ideas. I think it's gonna work out. If not I've got people who'll help me get through it. Not that I'm dependant on people, I'm just gonna have alot of people who have my back. Whatever happens it'll be good. I'm also just really really bored. Which makes me think. Not a great thing. I'm done with this post

It looks like the last blog i wrote was depressing and so is this one. I think I only write these little insights into my mind for two reasons. The first is because I'm thriving to talk to something or someone because i've been in my house for about a week straight. Once I'm locked up for a while I start to get into my head. I can only look around fro so long. Then I'm alone. I really think that I truly understand what is to go insane. I can see how someone who can be with themselves to the point of wanting to explore crazy situations. For example. Have you ever been so bored that you walk by a flight of stairs and wonder "hm I wonder what it would be like to ride an inflatable matress down those stairs." I have. It's that one step before madness. The second reason I try to type my madness away is because recently I'm really thinking about life. my parents are spliting up. I don't really know how to deal with it. my heart hurts. It really hit me when I watched an episode of Boy Meets World. Not everybody understands how much I love this show. It's so good. It's really real and honest. It does this without taking itself too seriously. Anyway, Topanga who's parents have been together for a long time get divorced. This makes her question her marriage to Cory. she doesn't believe in love. Cory believes that their love is the purest of loves and says they will last forever. In fact, after she throws all kinds of divorce stats at him he says. "All these number you throw at me won't matter because it's not you and me. I guarentee that if every marraige on the planet failed except one that that one would be you and me." if you had asked me what I had thought about this episode a year ago I would have said "cory is right you should always have faith in love." now I watch that episode and think "maybe she's right. maybe love does die" I hate that about myself. I hate that I don't love anymore. I can't love. I can't even wrap my mind around that. I mean love is supposed to be the greatest thing on earth. Here I am questioning its existance. Who am I to do that? I don't even know sometimes. I just want to go back to school. I want to be doing something. well tomorrow I'm going to the Chicago Comic book convention. I feel like by being surrounded by all those ideals and figures of hope and strength that it will recharge my own strength and hope in love and in life. well perhaps next blog will be slightly more upbeat. tune in next time bloggers. same blog time...same blog site.

Yesterday was a weird day. I woke up and my dad told me we were going to see my cousin danny. he was in the hospital. I have mixed feelings about the hospital. I hate it because there's that lingering feeling of sickness and death. On the other hand I love the hospital because it's full of people who do everyday what i wish I could do. They save lives. They also bring new life. So yeah conflicting. My cousin danny suffers from a problem where his blood doesn't create the right amount of platelets. It means he's not fighting sickness as well as he could. I wasn't looking forward to going. We went to La Bruquena first. We met up with Paco and company we gabbed about stuff like shows and Harry Potter 3. Almost wmade me forget about going to the hospital. We left La Bruquena and began the trek to Chicago Heights a suburb of Chicago. We walked into the Hospital and my dad had to stop at the bathroom. I wondered a bit. I walked into the hospital chapel and looked around. I guess out of old habit I crossed myself with the pool of holy water they had in the entrance. That felt weird. I walked around and then I had to walk out because nothing makes me think about sickness and death like religion. We went to his room. He wasn't there. He was getting tests done. Turns out on top of all that trouble he's got goin on with his blood, he's got stones too. Don't that beat all. We waited in that room for what seemes far too long to actually be 15 minutes. the silence was broken by Danny's neighboor who was weezing into an oxygen mask. Then I heard from behind the curtain "what's goin on Tio" he was clearly talking to my dad. He came into view and as I was warned the medicine that he had been taking had puffed him up alot. Even though he looked bad, he was standing and walking on his own with no help. He let my dad know he was not feeling well. my dad encouraged him to "hang in there" and to "not get yourself down" they talked family stuff. We took Danny's car back to his wife and 3 kids. and well this blog is basically for Danny...pray for him tune in next post... same blog time... same blog site

Dear bloggers,

This blog is specifically guided towards the seething hatred I have currently for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It was such a horrible and poorly done movie. First of, this third installment of Harry Potter is an excellent book. Director Alfonso Chuaron seemed to have not even READ THE FUCKING BOOK!!! It was a cheap cliffnoteesque shit. The following things were very wrong:

The firebolt was received at a way wrong time

the whole firebolt inspection never happened

The 3 kids were far too comtempararly dressed

THE QUIDDITCH MATCH BETWEEN SLYTHERIN AND GRYFFINDOR NEVER HAPPENED!!!

DUMBLEDORE WAS THE WORST PIECE OF GARBAGE EVER!!!

don't go see it. it's a horrible piece of crap. i'm too angry to continue. tune in next post same blog time same blog site.

What up bloggers i'm back after a long about two week absense. I've been keeping myself entertained. I've seen SO many movies and owned a fair amount of Video Games. what have I done lately? hm. I saw Lord of the Rings the Return of the King. personally i lump all 3 movies into one film. and in my opinion the Lord of the Rings is the best film/story ever. It's got everything. Every character has thier own personality. This is the most perfectly crafted world. ooo I went to storybus today. it was training day. It would've been really informative if it weren't for the fact that I'D BEEN WORKING FOR STORYBUS FOR A YEAR!!! I did this same exact training one year ago today. I also have been doing it as part of my employment for the better part of this last year. and they picked up that louisville and kept wailing away on that dead horse man. If it weren't for the fact that I was making 10 bucks an hour I would've bashed my skull open on Papa bears bed. So that was over and then I came home and nearly fell asleep in the middle of a movie. you guys know how it is. So i'm watchin this movie. The movie is Edward Scissorhands. First off, was he a robot or some sort of artificial human? second, why didn't anyone in that town ever think to cover Edwards Scissorhands with some sort of plastic or rubber? I'm just smarter than everyone sometimes. I really enjoyed the movie but there were alot of things wrong with it. Anyway that sounds like a full blog to me. tune in next post ...same blog time.... same blog site

Well, I'm home. It's nice. My dad made a wonderful meal today. Moving back in was a huge chore. I had to move all my things back in one large trip. You don't really realize how much shit you actually accumulate until you have to bring it back. Now that I'm back There are a couple of things i'm gonna have to do. Today something happened that was too cool. I was driving down past the local bike shop (by bike I mean motorcycle) When all of a sudden I look and see it. That's right ladies and gents. I saw THE BATMOBILE!!! clear as day. It was Gloryous. I stopped my car and walked over to admire this spectacle. It wasn't the cool Batman movie Batmobile. It was the Batmobile from the TV show. the one with the two domes. It was awesome. clearly the highlight of my day. Yesterday was nice too. I saw NWtheaters production of Korzacks Children. It was really good. The story was just awesome. I really like those stories. It was really well illustrated through Alans first and last line about there being a war going on. No one laughed at the funny parts. Maybe because it was about the Holocaust. If it's funny it's funny. I then I went to Gina's Going away party. I was sad she was going away. The party was fun though. It was a lot of 20 somethings and me. it was an interesting sit through. Talked about alot of things. Mostly Storybus. now i'm just chillen livin day by day YEAH SUMMER!!! Tune in next time Same blog time...same blog site.

Oh man am I tired. Today was a tiring day for me. We told stories today in creative process and my story was really physical. It was Wiley and The Hairy Man. Which is a great story. I didn't get to tell it all the way though. that was alright by me. I knew my story was gonna take forever. Then for some reason I got really tired. I had to kick it up though. I wanted to be on top of things for when Stephen Schwartz came to our school. That's right. The writer of the hit musical on Broadway Wicked was at my school. He talked to us about some things including: his life, Wicked, Auditioning, his shows. It was fun. He said some great things too. He's just as I would've expected him to be. He's really cool. He's artistic without being artsy fartsy. Which is always cool. He relayed some really cool stories about his life. A good one was one he told about him and Leonard Berstein. He said that he was playing the piano when Leonard Berstein looked at him and said "I remember when I could just sit down at the piano and play a note. Then it got to a point where I couldn't play that note without having to worry if it was a good enough note for Leonard Berstein." it was kind of a jaded story. cool though we talked about the way he talked about how his stories go un recognized and he doesn't really care because it was what he wanted to do. He made a really funny comment about Bob Fosse. he definately called him dumb. in fact he said "he was an idiot sevant in one area, but then in other areas he's just plain dumb. I thought it was something to laugh at... so I did. He was really honest with us and I liked that. To cap off that great event I got him to sign to of the flyers for The Bakers Wife. He seemed really excited to hear that his show was going on.He signed two flyers one for me. and one for the One Theatre Office. All in all it was a great day. anyway...tune in next time same blog time....same blog channel.